The Ethics of Throwing Books at People

There are several anecdotal stories of FM Alexander throwing books at his pupils if they dared to misuse themselves in his presence. 

One anecdote has FM standing in the wings of a theatre holding a book, while the great Henry Irving performed on stage. FM told him he would throw his book at Irving’s head if he ever pulled it back while performing. I don’t know if this is true, but let’s imagine for a moment that it is.

Instead of incredulous horror, I imagine FM’s actions got strong approval back in those Edwardian times in London. Alexander was brave to risk his reputation to commit so unequivocally to his pupil. 

But was it brave, or was it ego gone wild?

I think it is difficult to discern the difference between FM’s narcissism and FM’s compassion. I think this is also true of my own actions, and no doubt yours too. I am talking about situations when you resist doing something - like throwing a metaphorical book at your student - because of your own discomfort and reputational risk. Even though you consider the action may actually benefit your student.

How do you choose in a situation like this?

The religiously inspired idea to “sacrifice” my Self is often self-hate masquerading as good intention. People “do good” to counter the low view they imagine others have of them, or to bolster their “brave” view of their actions. Either way, underlying these actions is an unconscious need for recognition and validation.

Mormons knocking at your front door…

That’s one way.

The other way is being wise enough to know that you can only be of service to others when you are being of good service to yourself. A decision not to do something - because it is unkind to your nature - is that also selfish, almost narcissistic?

Take it a step further: out of a lesson and into the street. What if you see someone trying to harm another? A mother slapping her toddler, a man yelling at his son, a robber holding a knife to a stranger’s belly…

Do you risk intervening? By what moral criteria do you decide to act or not act?

When you fail to act in a situation like this, is it because…

1. Your ego and self-protection are pushing you to withhold action --> They will judge me; I risk harm; it’s not my business.

2. A kind and genuine understanding of your limitations are saying --> I do not have the ability; I am at physical risk; I could even make it worse.

Are you being narcissistic? 

Or are you being kind to your Self?

Our pride would have us believe that most of our actions are altruistic. However, a rigorous analysis often provides evidence to the contrary.

Would you throw a metaphorical book at your student?