When Was the Last Time You Asked for a Kiss?

I am elite Platinum member of my Qantas Frequent Flyer club.

I’d like to think it is because I fly business class all the time and rake in the miles – but sitting here in Economy, cramped up against the seat in front of me, while I peck out my blog, puts that delusion to rest.

So why am I here?

I am off to Florida to be coached by a bunch of fellow biz entrepreneurs in USA. I start my own coaching in a week – at ATSuccess London Symposium on How To Build A Successful Practise – but first I need to limber up and eat some humble pie.

My business is hitting a new kind of wall, and I am floundering about asking the question:

OK, BodyChance got to 1 million annually, now how do I get to 10?

Your question may not have the same numbers, but it’s the same question. I have this, I want that – how? However, I think before you even go there, it’s better to define success for your Self.

I understand that my personal success is not measured in miles, it is not measured in luxury and it is not even measured in money. It’s measured in plain simple terms and you can decide right now if you are successful or not:

Are you doing what you want to be doing?

I ask that question a lot, and my answer is always changing. I make an important distinction between “Want” and “Like”. I don’t like sitting here cramped in coach. I feel tired and a bit hungry, and I am not even sure I like writing my blog right now.

And yet…

I am doing what I want to be doing.

Another way to think of this: you may not like doing the dishes, but because you want your kitchen clean, you do them.

It’s not necessary to like something to want to do it. I don’t like selling, and I know some people don’t like marketing, however there is a bigger picture to consider: what do you want to be doing?

Try to express your overreaching want in one sentence – that’s your life mission statement.

If you want to be sharing Alexander's discovery with other people – if that is what you professionally want? – then I know no other way than to start becoming an expert at marketing and selling. Dan explains this better than me.

Dan Kennedy is the old guy of direct marketing in America. He is the sage that bred a whole swagger of young turks that preach their direct marketing messages to small business owners all over the world.

Dan loved to confound the newbies by asking them:

“What business are you in?”

And of course they would answer: a fruit shop, a travel agency, a bar. To which Dan would quickly come back with:

“No, your business is marketing. Because without that, you don’t have a business.”

When I started my journey learning all this, I hated selling things to people. Then one day I heard Alex Neocieous declare in a seminar:

“If you don’t like selling, then just think like this: be committed to doing what is right for the other person. Want only for them what you know will benefit and enrich their lives.”

I thought: “I could do that. Is that what selling is?!”

Sales and Marketing are quite different, and in the beginning, I easily muddled them up.

Marketing is fun, it is seductive – dinners out, flowers, jokes, having fun together, learning about each other.

Most teachers, once the get into the swing of it, are good at marketing. You have to listen well to market well, you need to have empathy, and be able to relate to the other person. This is a skill set that every Alexander teacher develops over the course of their career. It sets them up to be great education marketers (if they get over their mind-set about “marketing” of course).

But sales, oh sales.

I finally discovered why I didn’t like it. Sales is when you get serious, sales is crossing a line that changes the relationship forever.

Sales is asking for the kiss.

Many people would prefer to continue having fun, rather than risk it being over. Sales is about acceptance or rejection – and all of us avoid rejection if we can. It is unpleasant.

I don’t like sales, and yet I want to do it – does that make sense?

I want to go into my discomfort zone, because that is where I can grow. In there I learn about my Self, I can wake up to the limitations of my mind set. There’s a reason you don’t do what you want to do – because you let your “like” and “dislike” overrule your “want.“

Your “want” is evolving into who you are – it guides you slowly into the unknown territory of you.

And I recognise that the most effective way for me to explore “this unknown territory” is by heading to Florida, in this cramped up little coach seat, so I can have my delusions squeezed out of me; so I can get my reality check; so I can be motivated and rebooted gain – this time with fresh clarity and renewed purpose.

That’s why I am going to Florida to be coached, and it’s why I think you should come to London to be coached. Come to the ATSuccess London Symposium on sales and marketing for Alexander Technique teachers to explore your mind set, your “Want” and your life mission.

You too can emerge with fresh clarity and renewed purpose.

Click here to read more about it and book.

Will I see you there?