A Nice Boy Suddenly Goes Bonkers

It has haunted me most of my life.

Why did I give up my childhood dream to be an actor? Why did I never perform, direct theatre and films or create works of art? 

Instead, I became an Alexscovery teacher (aka Alexander Technique teacher).

What could be so powerful to deflect such a deeply held aspiration?

I’ve often wondered that my Self. 

I have three plausible theories:

1. Psychosis– my family leans into that one.
2. Unstable realizations – my Buddhist friends prefer that explanation.
3. Lama Yeshe – he often communicated telepathically to his students.

My third theory is recent – it now seems the most plausible to me.

And mainly because – at the time – I felt I was receiving instructions: it all came to a head one night while I was sitting in my room pondering what was happening to me. I was both confident and confused – knowing what I had was real, but confused as to what this meant I should do with my life?

My family thought I had gone completely bonkers. 

I was continuing my studies at N.I.D.A., and still held my job at the time - there was no question of hospitalization or anything like that. No, I was “bonkers” because the utterances that escaped my mouth had very little connection to the person they knew as “Jeremy”.

I kept talking about how fear ruled our lives. 

I insisted that even the closest of friends lived mostly without trust. I also noticed that I had new abilities: simple things such as changing my heart rate at will – kids loved me doing that - or telepathically getting animals to respond to me. Many other people have such skills, but they were very new to me at the time.

So I was sitting in my room pondering all this. I decided I needed to do some writing and sat down. Then this weird thing happened again – as though I was being communicated too – and “it” wrote: “You are three people all in the one.”

That was too much for me. 

“No, I can’t do this.” 

I quickly left the house. At the time, I had been “lecturing” about trust to two dear friends, and starting driving to them. Then I thought:

“No. It’s not fair to lay this on them. I have to figure this by my Self.”

So I turned the car around and started driving randomly. I turned a corner, and it was a dead-end with space for one car to park. I parked the car, locked the door and then realized I’d locked the keys in the car – something easy to do in 1975.

Now I was feeling like a real dork.

“What the hell is going on Jerry?!” I asked myself.

And that is when it happened.

What happened, and what it meant for my life, continues tomorrow…