Are You A Lap Dog or A Roaring Lion?

Lap dogs send you emails with questions like: is there anything I can do???

They look up to you, with unblinking loyal eyes, hungry for their Master’s voice.

Roaring Lions send you emails with judgements: what do you think you’re doing!!!

You want to surround yourself with roaring lions, not lap dogs.

Lap dogs are wonderful, reaffirming, great for your ego and totally useless at helping you to evolve towards your wish. Roaring lions are difficult, challenging to your ego and totally useful in helping you evolve towards your wish.

Have a look around – who surrounds you? Lap dogs or roaring lions?

Abraham Lincoln recently got famous again (how does he keep doing that?) through Doris Kearns Goodwin’s book Team of Rivals. Lincoln surrounded himself with roaring lions. People who challenged him, disagreed with him, did what they thought needed to be done. They weren’t sending emails asking Abe: “What do you want me to do?”

They were telling Abe what needed to be done. And doing it.

Now, ready for the weird part?

You can be both.

Yep, both.

How does that work?

My daughter one day decided to change schools. We talked about it, I said yes. I was a roaring lion…

“This will be expensive. You can’t switch again. This is for the year – OK?”

yeah dad, I get it. whatever.

I buy her a new uniform, get her the new school books, pay the enrolment fee etc. and off she goes. She hates it. She wants to leave. We talk. Inside – I am the roaring lion. Tough, uncompromising. You stay for the year girl, no question.

I understand dad. I just feel sad all the time. I’ve got not friends.

It’s over. I lost. I’m the lap dog, the bleeding heart liberal that melts at the feet of a Master, my 16 year old daughter. Damn! It’s true what they say – dad’s wrapped around her finger…

Come here. Do this. Sit.

HOWEVER…

When you are passionate about something, when you want to achieve something, change the world, leave it a better place – ALL THAT – then you become a roaring lion.

People around you are a little afraid, not sure what you will do next.

Because your purpose is overriding, your focus laser clear – are you with me or not? There’s no time to be middle-class “nice” to everyone. Ibsen understood that – he wrote plays about the tyranny of niceness in the emerging middle class of his era. How this dishonesty destroyed people and villages.

Instead you offer honesty, focus, and give the decision to the other person. No throwing a stick to fetch. Are you with me or not? Decide.

There’s an oft repeated story in training circles about a sales guy going into poor man’s house. He looks at frayed carpet, the bills on the table, and quickly excuses himself. His prospect chases him down the street, pulls him over and demands to know:

“Why did you leave? Why didn’t you try to sell me the backyard shed?”

The sales guy is embarrassed, mumbles. The prospect continues…

“Was it because you think I cannot afford it?”

The sales guy nodded. Then the roaring lion spoke:

“Don’t you decide for me! I am the one who decides if I buy or not. That’s my job. Your job is to convince me.”

Lions don’t blame other people. They don’t whine “but you told me this, now it’s that.”

Oh please. The world changes. Catch up. Stop being a victim to your past.

Lions take responsibility and do what needs to done, without checking all the time. Without wanting someone’s love and approval in order to act bravely.

Move away from being middle-class “nice” and move towards being honest.

Be a lion in your life, and encourage others to become the same.

It’s time.

Image Credit to Pixabay