Cold Dagger Eyes of Enlightenment

We all knew about that look.

Marj saved it for the best of us. Marjorie Barstow (1899-1995) was the first teacher to qualify and leave FM Alexander’s training school in London. All the other trainees were told to stay another year, but FM let Marj free.

And there was a reason for that. 

Marj was as obsessive and dedicated as the old man himself. She once related a story to me of missing a train in the outskirts of London during her training time. She had a banana with her at the time. She spoke to the banana:

“I wonder if I could continue eating this banana until the next train arrived?”

The next train was an hour away - and Marj succeeded, she happily told me.

Who can spend an hour eating a banana?!

I tried a few times, and my best score was 20 minutes. Actually – after hearing that story – a whole bunch of us tried, which was probably what Marj intended to happen. Of course, no one was triumphant, and we commiserated and laughed at our weak consciousness. That banana story said something about Marj’s determination: her interest in movement and the sheer stamina she had for consciously and continuously staying with one intended action. Just like FM. 

Such people change the world.

Magnificent.

But until Switzerland, I had never experienced those sharp blue eyes. 

Those eyes looked through you; they dismissed any defence or justification. And often disgust – at your ignorance and brain-dead thinking – gave them additional force. Well, that’s how it was for me, and this is what happened…

Accompanying us to Switzerland was the Fredericks family: Lena, Michael and their two children Rowan and John-Michael. John-Michael was around 10 years old at the time, and I volunteered to give him shoulder-back down the street. He climbed up on my shoulders as we explored Basel in the late afternoon sun. It was fun.

The next day, a new workshop with European Alexscovery teachers started. Those of us who were Marj’s “Assistants” would gather together with Marj before the workshop for an Alexander warm-up at the hands of the Master.

The post-suffering of my dislocated arm had improved dramatically since my 40-minute turn with Marj in London. But today, for some reason, it was hurting again.

When it came to my turn, I wailed:

“Marj – my arm is playing up again!”

She just looked at me in silence, and I got a little frightened.

“You know why.” 

(I thought – do I?)

I was about to carelessly respond “no” when those blue eyes caught and silenced my defensive posture.

Marj continued:

“What were you doing yesterday?”

Of course, Marj had been with us on our stroll through the quaint city of Basel. She had seen me with John-Michael on my shoulders – it finally clicked in my dull brain. I had carried 30kg (70lbs) on an arm that had only recently remedied. With almost zero thought to it’s consequences. I had then gone on to have no awareness of how my ache today related to my behaviour before. Marj was disappointed in me – and rightfully so. 

That wasn’t the last time I got pierced by those penetrating eyes.

It happened 7 years later in one of the terrifying moments of my life…

***

Inattention may seem harmless and small on the scale of human behaviour – but small hinges swing big doors. From that moment on, I started to recognise how I jeopardised many aspects of my life - including relationships - through inattention to the connectedness of all things.

Our study involves pattern recognition – how random events are not random at all and portend to deeper and meaningful discoveries.

One of my abiding interests in Alexander’s Discovery is how simple facts of pain and posture lead into a subtle world of personality and ego. In the two ThinkingBody courses I am making available together now, my task was to bring the so-called different physical, mental, and spiritual elements into one comprehensive model of behaviour, with Alexander’s Discovery at its core. You can read more about it and gain access by clicking on the link below:

https://bodychance.mykajabi.com/store/TGFBWut4

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