Independence Day

This morning I had just sat down to the computer to start working – so many important things to do – when my sleepy 11 year old daughter appeared and sat next to me. What a rare thing it was – no iPad, no earphones, no "look at this daddy" – just a girl sitting in a chair wanting to speak with her Daddy. But my mind would not tolerate it. I was ready to work, had been preparing all morning. I had to write the description of ProCourse for BCLA, do the next email in my Posture Improvement Series, collect photos of BodyChance to display in the new studio, write to my students in Japan. Emotionally I was unavailable. You know "Yes, darling…" as I continue to try to work. Stupid. A little voice said "Jerry, this is such a precious moment. Do NOT throw this away." My dilemma was how to integrate this rational advice with my emotional state, which clearly did not tolerate anything but focus on my important work. All about me. Still. How to get out of this? Then it occurred to me – ask Grace to help me. "Grace?" "Yes dad." "I want to chat with you, but I keep feeling anxious and I can't. Will you help me?" "I can't if you don't tell me the story. What's the story Dad?" "Hmmm. Well – something like: I have to work now to make money." "Is that true dad?" "Not really." I thought about all the spare cash I have right now to invest in BCLA. "So dad – how do you feel when you think that thought? "I get anxious, I feel frustrated when I can't concentrate on it. I start getting speedy, I don't listen. I feel aggressive to anyone who interrupts me. I feel anxious… "You said that." "OK" So dad – who would you be if you didn't think you had to work to make money…" This is always a magic question for me. As I start to wonder, my anxiety puffed off in an instant. Suddenly I saw my beautiful daughter, helping me out, and started to realise that without that thought, I felt happy, close to her and wanted to do something. "Shall we go to the beach for a walk?" I asked her. Her eyes light up – "Yes! Shall I ask Angelica?" Angelica, now a teenager, was still fast asleep at 10am – but the invitation for a walk on the beach was enough to get her out of bed and off to the beach in 10 minutes. This is the work of undoing. Sometimes it is towards connection and freedom – it is Independence Day in America today, I hope you made it yours too. Good night!