It’s How You Die That Matters to Living

“Those who are afraid of death, when death comes will not be afraid. Those who have no fear of death, when death comes will be very afraid.” 

Je Tsongkhapa, Tibetan Philosopher

***

My father loved to kid us around.

One day – when he was in his late 70s – he was drinking with Teddy Howell, an old acting mate. They were reminiscing on old times and dad asked Teddy:

“What happened to Peter Finch?”

“oh dead,” said Teddy looking down. Then he asked Rupert:

“What about Gwen? Is she still writing?”

“No, dead.” 

There was a twitter of laughter from dad’s younger children nearby. The old actors had an audience, so they carried on asking about old actors and writers: “How about Neva?” wondered Teddy, “She was a good looker.”

“Dead,” dad deadpanned, and so it went on for the next 5 minutes.

Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. And so on…

I am reminded of all this because I recently subscribed to WeCroak – a charming little app that reminds you every day (several times) that you are going to die. It does this by delivering a new quote, such as the one above. 

And I am also reminded by a friend who is diagnosed with an incurable form of cancer.

My friend is dying, that’s plain for all to see. Except him. 

He isn’t dying, he’s living. 

He refuses to make one unnecessary concession to the reality of his weakened condition. And why should he? He’s not in denial, he’s in tune. He does whatever he can, and lives each day as his last. It’s a mind that focuses on the present – not the future. Two things are clear about your death:

1. It is CERTAIN you die.
2. It is UN-CERTAIN when you die.

And in fact, this is true for many things. Your moods, your needs, your relationships – it’s sure things will happen, and you cannot know when. The attitude of focusing on an imagined future event, then reacting to that event as though it was really happening, is a mild form of insanity. 

And it’s also quite common.  

Alexander had a name for it: “End-Gaining.”

And what’s interesting is effecting Postural change doesn’t end-gain. When you focus on how you move you are no longer absenting your Self into a non-existent future. This is why the pursuit of better posture is the pursuit of mental health. Movements are real-time based, not abstractions of the future.

When I want to play better, walk better, sing better, converse better, exercise better – I must be present to what I am doing to get any improvement. Studying postural movement is the study of your mind – when you focus, you feel immediate results. It is not imaginary, it is actual.

Dying is perversely a good way stay alive.

Which is another reason to find out more the world of Alexander from someone (me) who’s been in it since 1968. Who knows, I could be dead tomorrow. 

My time of death is uncertain…