My Brush With A Serial Killer

Our table was on a raised platform, and he stood below, his arm over the rail...

 

Of course at the time I did not immediately know he was a killer, but he soon happily let us know about a murder he had completed a week before in South Africa. This was in the early 80's, before Mandala's magic had cast it's spell. 

 

He described in detail how he had killed, and it was clear he relished the act. Then he let us know how he could kill us - right here, right now if he wanted.

 

"Do you know what would happen?" he asked us.

 

"Please, tell me." I answered.

 

"The police would come, they would take me to the police station, make a few calls then quietly show me out the back door. That would be the end of it for me." 

 

To be fair to French Intelligence, this state-sanctioned serial killer made it clear that he was not "officially" with them, but a paid mercenary, acting on their instructions.

 

I love reading thrillers, and have experienced my share of on-screen violence, and this was still beyond anything I had ever known. It was all so surreal I wondered if this was truly happening?

 

It was. 

 

I looked into his eyes and I knew. He was not faking. Right now he was a cat playing with a mouse. He was having fun with us. 

 

Inside a strong voice spoke to me:

 

"Meet him. Eyeball him. By your whole Self. Look entirely and totally you. Stay in co-ordination and sense the strength of your back, the whole of you."

 

 

***

 

I am sure it did. But how?

 

It reminds me of my daughter. By the time she was 3 years old I knew: she can not be bullied at school. I don't have to worry about her.

 

Why? 

 

Because she knows her Self. She is her Self. 

 

Bullies thrive on the people-pleasers. Bullies thrive on people who don't know what to think. People who are busy trying to guess what the bully wants them to think.

 

These people are dough in a bully’s hands: a mouse to a cat.

 

On that day in Paris, I was no mouse.

 

I was thinking clearly for my Self. 

 

I learnt that through studying Alexander's discovery. It is a simple discovery. It says: Whenever you are confused, you will tighten between your head and spine. 

 

This tightening will cause a systemic response throughout your whole Self.

 

Eventually - if you keep tightening this way in fear and confusion - your systems will start shutting down. Breathing takes more effort, tension forces the heart to work harder: all this extra effort fatigues you. Soon you don't know who you are… 

 

You wonder: "Am I really this person in pain?"

 

You have lost the ability to know you. You can no longer think clearly for your Self.

 

Everything depends on your clarity of thought...