Spare Me Your Appreciation, Criticise Me Instead!

 

But what are I defending? 

 

My belief about what you said. Notice that. Not "what you said" but "my belief about it."

 

Why am I spitting back in the face of a person who has valuable information for me?

 

I had to learn the hard way. I needed a lot of criticism until I began to wake up and think: maybe they have a point? Of course I don't have to agree; and how can I even know if I agree when I am busy defending my own beliefs…

 

Can you remember a time when you were criticised? Bring it to mind as you read this. See if what I suggest can work for, because here's the thing…

 

 

I tell that to all the teachers I mentor in ATSuccess: Beware. Be ready. Think about this deeply before the time comes. Because here's a truth I know to be self-evident: the more successful you become, the greater the chorus against you will become.

 

"Jeremy is wrong. BodyChance is selling out the Alexander Technique. All Jeremy cares about is money, fame and respect. Jeremy doesn't care about us, he only cares about him. BodyChance is lowering the quality of the work. Jeremy is destroying what I treasure and love."

 

And you know, every one of those at one time is true!

 

I am selling out the Alexander Technique, at least your version of it. Sometimes I am also selling out my version - because I don't believe in my version any more. Yes, I am lowering your idea of quality, not my idea of quality. And it is good for me to listen to you - what is your idea of quality? Can I learn from that? What is it I am doing that upsets you so? I want to know. Put it in the comments below. I am ready to listen…

 

 

So spare me the appreciation, criticise me instead. I am comfortable with me. I don't need your affirmation to know I am OK. When I hear your criticism, I don't have to defend.

 

Now I am ready to understand better what you believe…

 

And I know, there is nothing I can do about you believe. It's hopeless. Wives have tried to changed husbands since dinosaurs roamed this earth - and they still don't succeed!

 

Next time someone criticizes you - appreciate that. Thank them for taking the time, for caring enough to communicate with you. Criticism is a treasure, but only when I can hear it.

 

My problem is not with what you are saying, not ever. 

 

My problem is with how I am hearing it.

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