Stop Making Your Self A Victim of Time

Time.

I remember being in a car accident years ago. I was on my way to Melbourne – a teenage hormonal phenomenon – charging through the mountainous regions of Coopracambra National Park – on my way to a rendezvous with fate.

We’d just passed through Cabbage Tree Creek and started heading up a long hill. Impetuous lad I was, I felt frustrated by a long lorry blocking a speedy run up the hill.

I tried to pass it.

As I did, what appeared over the top of the hill was another lorry. Holy sh*t!!! It was too late to back down, too far to get past the truck in time – what to do?

That was my first lesson in time.

Time seemed to slow down. Of course it didn’t, I did.

I was able to calculate, almost methodically, that the shoulder on the far side of the road might just receive me in time. I’d have to swivel the car and send us into a spin. Would we survive that? Maybe. Would we survive hitting the lorry head on? No.

Decision made. In nano-seconds, but it seemed like forever.

Things floating around in the car. A recently purchased sandwich flying through the air. Brown, everything seemed brown. Was that my cup of coffee? There were no noises, just thoughts. Move the wheel here, push the break, let your Self be quiet. Nothing you can do now. Relax.

And so we hurtled to the far side of the road, spinning and crashing into grass for our miraculous survival. The car was a total mess.

(God bless Toyota – they did their job too.)

I came to see is that managing time has NOTHING to do with time.

It was about my focus: what I was thinking and how I was thinking. Time as a concept shields you from deeper truths you may be unwilling to face about how you think.

If you keep saying “I don’t have enough time” know this: it’s a con.

Your con on you. Because you already have all the time you need.

Why?

Because there is no more time to have.

Just like you can’t buy the Brooklyn Bridge, but there are people who will try to sell it to you. The one thing we know is that time as a resource cannot, of itself, be altered. Ironically, time is timeless – perpetually constant in its peculiar way, until the end of time itself. Weird.

Time was never the problem, you were.

Here’s what I found, once I stopped making my Self a victim of the clock…

I discovered I was just pain greedy!

I wanted too much. Too many projects. Too many appointments. Too much people pleasing, too much of seeking the praise I fail to give myself. However, my greed is innocent, not a bad thing. Greed is how I am seeking reassurance.

Lurking under greed is insecurity, worry, questions of self-worth.

And that’s innocent too. As a mammal, I’m wired to seek the group’s approval – it’s how we learn, it’s how we survived in the past and it’s still how we survive now. By complying, by being part of a social unit. It’s built into you, it’s your DNA.

You seek approval – “Hey mum - look at me!” - from early development. Natural.

The self-hate arises when you start believing you are not good enough. Not worthy. When you need to prove something. If I could stop believing those things about my Self – unconsciously – and start to love who I am, would I have all the time I need?

Could it be that simple?

Martin Seligman, founder of Positive Psychology, can be credited with giving scientific gravitas to a plan that replaces self-hate…

Celebrate. Celebrate every day, congratulate your Self on what you did. Make sure it is concrete, and you feel the truth of it. Then you really learn. Learn what?

Learn to love the you that doesn’t need anything more than what you already have.

Could that really be the best way to manage time?

YES.

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A little update on how I am utilizing time now: to write every day.

How could THAT give me (and you) more focus?

Clarity. Use some time every day thinking about your mission.

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