The Little Fred in my Head

“You have to go to Japan.”

I am walking along Crown street in Sydney - on my way to teach a class at the Actor’s Centre in 1995 - when this thought arrives in my head. Truly, it happened. I don’t remember thinking much about Japan before then, so where did this thought come from?

I get pretty agitated - trying to figure out how to get there, and what I am supposed to do when I get there!? After about 5 minutes of this anxiety, I suddenly say to my Self:

“This is ridiculous. I am not going to Japan. Give it up Jerry.”

And I did.

***

I have Irish blood in my line - and the Irish are famously superstitious. My Great Grandfather Fred McGuren’s ancestors heralded from Ireland, arriving in Australia in the 19th century. Some of their family were associated with the Orange Order, a Protestant fraternal organization in Northern Ireland. But we were Catholic, which might explain why they left. 

Anyway, eventually Fred became mayor of a local town in New South Wales called Grafton.

When two locals got into a dispute in Grafton, it quickly turned into a horse race. Because whoever got to Fred’s office first usually won the case in court. In one instance, a local was accused of stealing sheep. Fred got him off. Later - as family folklore retells the story - the thief was in the local having a beer when a friend came over and asked:

“Hey mate - you did take them sheep, didn’t ya?”

The thief answered: 

“Well, I thought I did. But after listening to Fred McGuren, I am not so sure.”

I am superstitious, believing in miracles and watching the world for signs of how I am going. Stubbing my toe is a wake-up call - as is someone being abusive, or suddenly getting rich, or unexpectedly losing a lot of money. Or having a random thought that Japan was in my destiny. All of those have happened to me, but the only truth I have is how my mind says it is.

Maybe I have a little Fred inside my head, spinning my life however I want to see it.

And soon, I will get an offer that radically changes my life.

I will be going to Japan after all…

This is the tenth in a series of daily emails exploring my challenges in communicating Alexander’s Discovery.