The Student's Wish

An unpleasant experience when leading a group, is to have a participant strongly opposing and contradicting you. Leading a charge against you.

I used to think that! Now I look forward to it…

Because whatever you think they are doing, THAT flows from your perception.

What if they are not doing that?

What if what they want is understanding, clarity and completion? Wouldn't you "listen differently" if you perceived them that way?

You can develop the space in your mind to see them however you wish.

I remember meeting with a group of students in BodyChance: they were very angry, disillusioned and disappointed in the school. I decided:

I will stay with these people as they express whatever they want to say. And I did, I listened. One moment stands out, by the lack of my outrage. A student looked at me, and declared:

"BodyChance is a fascist organisation."

And instead of reacting, I said:

"Wow, if you're believing that, I can understand why you would be so unhappy here."

She just nodded.

I had heard her, without being part of her story.

It's important - as you listen to the student's needs, complaints or wishes - that you see it as their story; don't enter into it, don't identify with them. Stay you.

Being led by your student's wish - in any situation - does not mean you hand over the group to them. It does NOT mean you abdicate responsibility for how your group learning progresses. You're in charge of that, not the student.

There are times when I refuse to work with the wish of my student.

For example, if they ask…

"I want to feel freer when I play."

I answer…

"I can't help with that. Alexander's discovery is about managing movement, not feelings."

Of course the student is confused - they "feel freer" after their lessons – so they think that is the goal.

That is not the goal, and students need to learn that as quick as you can teach it. It's one of the many reasons I do not lie them down on tables and give them a nice experiences. If you make experience the God of your group, your students will get into trouble.

You will send forth a tribe of head wiggling, sensory feelers, who are always trying to remember - "What was that position she put my head in?" - and never getting it.

Groups are not about giving experiences, they are about getting people to take responsibility to think. The experience is just a bonus, and they better know it.

Jeremy's Group Teaching Discovery Course.

Picture credit: Pixabay.com