The Worry Within Japanese Praise

Whenever a Japanese start to praise me, I worry.

And I am getting a lot of praise lately. 

Welcome to the upsidedown topsy turvy world of counterintuitive Japanese thinking.

People look at me and think, “he’s a successful person,” and they don’t realise that this success is all tip and no iceberg. Under that veneer of “success” lies a vast reservoir of depression, betrayal and failed relationships. I break promises and do bad things - like cutting salaries, raising tuition, changing the schedule last minute, videoing without explicit permissions and often - OFTEN - changing my mind about IMPORTANT things. 

It pisses people off.

Once in a meeting, a discombobulated trainee declared:

“BodyChance is a fascist organisation.”

“Oh dear,” I replied, “If you believe that, I can understand why you are so unhappy.”

I once asked an Aussie I knew - he took hundreds of Buddhist vows to become a Tibetan monk - what was the biggest challenge in wearing the scarlet-coloured robe of ordination?

“Disappearing,” he said. “No one sees me anymore. All they see is a monk, not me.”

Ahh, I thought, I understand it. I am the boss - who loves their boss? I am the head teacher - who doesn’t do transference? I am the manager - to whom do you complain? Are those wearing the robes of authority truly seen by others?

But in delightful Japan, love precedes hate. It’s sweet.

When you receive an email affirming your wonderful qualities - telling you how grateful they are for your work - you can be pretty sure that the bite is coming in the next paragraph. What can I say? I’ve been appreciated a lot lately.

Oh, and btw all but one of my four Training Directors have declared that they will not teach in the new version of BodyChance at Zen Place. (What?! Why?) Instead, on January 3rd 2023, they announced the formation of a new group - AWJ* - on Facebook. There’s a picture of them all smiling - displaying a combination of decades of teaching experience - the fruits of my teacher training over the last two decades. This squirrelling away of skill from a new generation of trainees is a new episode in my “Infamothomabe Japan” series.

As they left the room after resigning, Zen Place Naru turned to me and said:

“So that’s it? They just walked out?”

I did not know what to say. But yes, I guess they did. Was it me? Did I do so much bad?

Look beneath success, and there is always something ugly to find…

Hidden icebergs - not tips - rock the world.

*Alexander Work Japan: These senior teachers have a rich diversity of experience, reach and wisdom. Two of them fostered a thriving new community after NVC guru Rita Herzog visited Japan in 2004. Another has “re-engineered” the Dart Procedures into a new brand, reaching into allayed communities. One has travelled overseas in search of state-of-the-art anatomical information. Another is a perrenial student - rich in diversived information. When I think of my life mission to propagate Alexander’s discovery into diverse communities, I can only feel happy that these highly skilled and consummate teachers will use their whole selves to enrich that mission. I wish them well and resist all my vindictive instincts (oh yes, I have them).