There Are No Painful People

In front of me – on the 202 bus in Sydney – was an irritating romantic couple.

Or so I thought at first. First, the coupled blocked my view out the front of the bus; second, they talked too loud; third, they kept doing “romantic” things that annoyed me. And I thought:

"They are an annoying couple."

And then I thought: "Is That True?"

I love a bit of deep-thinking - even on the 202 - so I set about investigating the source of my irritation. To start, I wanted to check out my emotions as I looked at the couple.

So I looked at them. They did their thing. And it annoyed me. As I included my Self more in the information gathering, I heard the faint command:

 "Move out of the way. Stop speaking like that. Don’t do that!"

That was MY voice, not their voice. Oh dear.

My brain believed these other people were no different from my arm or leg! 

Because I wanted control over them in the same way I had control over my arm and leg. Which was silly of course – I had no control over their behaviour. And yet – as I projected how I wanted them to behave, I experienced frustration, disappointment and irritation when they didn't.

In that instant, I realized they were entirely, totally innocent of any irritating behaviour. 

And so is everyone in your life if you are following me correctly. 

That's a radical idea to live.

I had often read about transference and projecting on to others – but this was my first experience of being able to switch off the irritation by recognizing the absurdity of my position. I even played around to test it…

I let the blanket of ignorance fall – willing my motor cortex to imagine the movements I wanted to project into the couple in the seat in front of me – within a few seconds of this, I started feeling them again as "an irritating couple." 

It was over there, on them, nothing to do with me.

Then I flipped it.

I cogitated that my supplementary motor-cortex was generating a whole set of movements for them to perform – all imagined, nothing to do with them. And at that moment I lost my feeling of irritation, replaced by laughter.

How do you think it is possible to be in control of others?

It's your projection, but only all of it. If another person follows you, it is because THEY followed YOU. You didn't do anything; they did it all.

If you want freedom, stop looking for it in other people. "If only he…" etc. Freedom isn't in changing others; it starts by recognizing that you have no power to change others.

You do have power though. Lots of it.

Live by example. Be the change you are asking of others. Start by understanding how to move your Self.

As a teacher of Alexander's discovery, I have spent years using my hands to invite you to find a new way to move. In those years, I have discovered how useless it is to try to impose upon others. 

Here’s an opportunity for you to discover more…

https://atsuccess.com/alexander-discovery-workshop-japan-jeremy-chance.html