You Don't Have to Like it, to Want it

I once wrecked the brake system of my Toyota Corolla.

I did it by backing out of our drive with my handbrake on.

"Stupid car" I thought "Why is it playing up today?"

Of course, it wasn't THE CAR that was stupid, it was ME. I was trying to drive the car backwards with the handbrake on! Ever since then I have used this expression in my teaching:

People push themselves against their own handbrake.

Handbrakes appear psychologically in many forms. One underlying refrain is "I don't want to…" coupled with an unpleasant feeling while you do it.

Do you have to like something to want to do it?

I've grown up believing you do. When I don't like doing some things (my taxes), I tell myself "I don't want to do this". And yet… I do them (put my taxes in).

Don't like = Don't want. Right?

WRONG.

These days, I re-frame the whole shizazzle differently:

Don't like ≠ Don't want.

Everything I do, I do because I want to do.

(even those things I don't like).

This opens new ways of thinking:

1. I don't have to like something to want to do it;
2. I am free to do those things I don't like.

It's weird I know.

And isn't the world full of us doing things we don't like?

Right now - in BodyChance - I am struggling to introduce Alexander's discovery into a corporate world. I hate it. The politics, the narrow focus, the over-extended meetings, the back and forth about insignificants - I often find it unpleasant. I don't like it.

AND YET I WANT TO DO IT.

Like, 100% I want to do it.

This is the future, the dream, the possibility of doing something extraordinary. Who said it would all be pleasant? Who said we should like it all?

Yet, that seems built into us as mammals.

We are wired to resist anything that is not congruent emotionally. The trick is not to go up against your emotions - you will be lost in a morass of quicksand.

The trick is to go up against your belief - do I have to like this to want to do it?

it's possible to clear that hurdle and complete the race.

Doing something you don't like - in the full knowledge that you want to do it - is liberating. It's congruent rather than conflicted. It's clear instead of confused.

It conscious and constructive instead of driven and forceful.

Sit down and try this - come up with a list things that you don't like, but you do them anyway. Now ask a simple question:

If you don't like it, why do you do it?

You only do what you want to do. If you are doing it - while telling your Self you don't want to do it - you have the handbrake on.

Careful, you could wreck your vehicle.

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This way of moving - (do/don't want) is core source of tension I illustrate in my $50,000 BodyThinking course (it won't cost you that!).
Available until April 30th with a major discount - register here for my special offer.