The Biological Agents of Intimacy

Desmond Morris, in his 1971 book Intimate Behaviour writes:

"If the monkey is a male, it will never again, as an adult, know the total intimacy of a loving bond. Until the day it dies, it will continue to exist in a loveless world of rivalries and partnerships, of competition and co-operation."

Isn't that the life of an increasing number of people today?

Reflecting on an end of intimacy I experienced recently, I wrote to a dear friend that I was mourning the loss of

"…a deep serenity that is called forth when a trusted person is in my arms."

The sentence affected her deeply, and called forth experiences from her past that ignited an electricity of emotion. It's not sentimental, it biological.

How To Be A Mammal is an alternative title of my blog, with the sub clause being: When you are Human. We long touch - that intimate bonding existing in a timeless realm, without request or want or need.

Instead, the bliss of being, the moment of is.

And I had to reflect - as I read Morris' account of our species - how lucky I am, at my advanced age, to even be able to experience this re-enactment of infantile behaviour. It is deeply biological, emotional and spiritual all at once.

Morris tells us we are unique amongst mammals in seeking this intimacy in later life.

As teachers of FM's discovery - Alexscovery Teachers I say these days - we are the biological agents of intimacy. Our touch calls forth the deeper natural integrity and beauty that is inherent in being human, in being mammal. It lifts the spirit, gratifies the heart and can give purpose and meaning to life again.

At BodyChance, our trainees must complete a lot of practise teaching before they finally qualify. Part of the supervision involves the students writing a report to me on their lessons. Over the years, one stands out. Here is what she wrote (translated from Japanese):

"For 30 years I have worked at the same company. Every morning when the alarm bells rings, I didn't want to get up. Now for the first time I have a reason to get up. Since I had your lessons, I look forward to the day. Thank you. I am so grateful."

Isn't that extraordinary?

This is the power of species-level touching - the epiphany of finding that the reason to live is the joyful being of you. To feast on your own beautiful Self. We need nothing more.

To think that FM's work can be transmitted by verbal means alone, is to give in to the alienation of the spirit that grips our species during these tumultuous times.

The absence of intimacy may only accelerate despair.

Despite my reputation to the contrary, my insistence on tactile communication of Alexander's discovery is non-negotiable. As I often tell my trainees - anyone can do your blah, blah. And often far better.

However, they cannot replicate your touch. This cannot be faked.

Touch is the Rosetta's stone that opens up the species-level truth of Alexander's discovery.

However, touch alone cannot accomplish its own purpose - to ask that of touch is to remain infantile. A vast and sophisticated cognitive framework is called upon to reveal this truth. There are already many such systems in existence, and FM created his own version.

We are not married to FM's version. We are free to develop our own - touch is what keeps us honest, it's the corner stone that distinguishes why we are not therapists or counsellors or healers - although we often appear as all three.

Our truth is based on an a species-level truth - that movement has primacy over all other systems, and movement calibrates each system to its own beat. And at the core of your beat is the behaviour of your head-spinal complex.

What we need to accomplish is simple.

How we set about this accomplishment is complex - not through the goal itself, but through the interferences that send us down rabbit holes that lead nowhere.

I have spent my life dedicated to assembling such a system - it's been my obsession now since 1968. I've cobbled it together from FM, Marj, Buddhism, Stanislavsky, Gurdjieff & Bennet, Werner Erhard, Byron Katie and countless other innovators of transformative change. It can be a guide for you to mature your own version.

This is the core message of ATSuccess - be you, be your own system. Then discover how you can effectively share that with others.

I call mine ThinkingBody, and you can find out more about it here…

ThinkingBody Online.

Picture Credit: Pixabay.com